=COLOUR BLIND= AKA ON THE ROAD TO COOLESVILLE
TITLES : SUMMER SKY-SCAPE - DAY MUSIC : "Incredible India" (Ethnic)
A sky-scape comes to life in a speeded up time-lapse shot of small white clouds travelling towards and over through the blue sky. Cartoon animated letters.
"COLOUR BLIND" Clouds slow to real time speed.
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - SUMMER SUNSHINE DAY
Tilting down to reveal DELBERT (30), a dapper gent in a grey three piece suit with white shirt, sporting a grey newsboy flat cap and wrap-around black Ray Ban sunglasses. He is sitting calmly astride an ice box with "Cool Box" written on it in brightly coloured graffiti style letters. His white stick across his lap, his dog, HERBIE, sits to one side.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC : "Cocktails" (Mellow Jazz)
Two very square travellers, a girl FRAN (21) and a guy FRANK (23) walk next to each other. They carry back-packs, wear thick spectacles, sandals with socks, and full hiking clothes. Frank has a centre-parting and Fran a frizzy mess. Frank carries a map and a compass around his neck.
FRAN How much further do you think it is
FRANK Based on the data from my
pedometer, we have five point two kilometres more to travel. If we continue at our present rate we should arrive at the outskirts of Coolesville in... fifty-one minutes, barring unforeseen interruptions that is.
FRAN I so appreciate being accurately
informed as to the nature of foreseeable future events.
FRANK Roger that. Just think, soon we'll
FRAN Copy that. Smooth and Cool.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC : "56 Caddy" (50s Retro)
Two impossibly cool travellers, a girl TAMSIN (22) and a guy CUTHBERT (24) walk next to each other. They pull cabin trolley suitcases on wheels, wear designer labelled clothes, and branded trainers. Their haircuts are oversized coiffured styles.
CUTHBERT I hope the sorry losers in
Squaretown will come to understand that we'll be running the show from now on.
TAMSIN Mostly people just don't know
what's good for them, they need to be told, and shown, how to have a good time, how move up in the world.
CUTHBERT Yeah, I know where you're coming
from. It's like you have to think for them, make them understand there are better ways to live.
TAMSIN You know we stand a good chance of
clearing up when we get to Squaretown, they won't know what's hit them. It'll be taking candy from a baby.
CUTHBERT Someone has to take the initiative
and assume the entrepreneurial lead.
TAMSIN You must speculate to accumulate.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC : Delbert's theme : "Incredible India"
Delbert is sitting beside the path on his cool box with Herbie next to him. He talks to himself, occasionally moving his hands about, with his white stick in one of them.
DELBERT Some who are square seek to be
cool, whilst there are others who may have over-cooled in some way and seek to exploit this 'hyper- cool' state. It must be very hard work being so fiendishly cool twenty-four hours a day, everyday.
The square couple, Fran and Frank walk up to Delbert and stop in front of him. He looks around them, then side to side.
FRAN Hi there blind man.
Frank looks at Fran in disbelief at her greeting. Delbert touches his sunglasses, looks around and about, takes his white stick, taps their legs, then looks to the sky.
DELBERT There are two of you.
FRANK Yes, Hi, I'm here too.
Frank raises his hand.
DELBERT From where do you travel?
FRANK We come from Squaretown.
Frank half-heartedly motions back to his left, towards Squaretown. Herbie the dog, looks in the same direction.
DELBERT What is your destination?
FRAN We're going to Coolesville.
Fran motions towards Coolesville. Herbie now looks that way.
DELBERT Coolesville is.... special, but
beware, there will be those, cooler than yourselves, if you can imagine such a thing, who will attempt to better you and even separate you from that which you value. You must remain true to yourselves, stay who you are and, if at first you do not 'blend in' as you hope, be unafraid, for soon you will learn the new ways of the place in which you have arrived.
FRAN Thank you for your words of wisdom
kind man. Your advice may well be of great value to us, thank you.
DELBERT By way of good karma do you think
you could spare a few pesos by which a poor travelling man could buy a square meal?
Frank puts his hand into his pocket to give money to Delbert, putting it in his outstretched hand. Delbert weighs it up.
DELBERT A little light for change, a little
heavy for a note. Man's gotta eat. Frank puts gives Delbert some more money.
DELBERT (CONT’D) Thank you, now be on your way, good
luck and be careful of strangers, there are many in these parts.
FRAN Thank you.
DELBERT Continue on your journey.
Delbert waves his white stick to motion them along towards Coolesville and the couple continue. When they are out of earshot... Fran and Frank look at each other.
FRAN What a nice old blind man.
FRANK Yes, he was a very nice old blind
man. Delbert is talking to himself.
DELBERT Sometimes you have to take a good
look at yourself and ask that deep and profound question; Is it possible to be a little bit cooler? With a bit of effort, surely its got to be possible?!
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC CHANGE : "Summer Vibe" (Upbeat) The distance closes between the two couples.
CUTHBERT Hello, here are some strangers. Do
you think we should cross the road?
TAMSIN No, let's talk to them, they're
most likely harmless. A little way down the track.
FRANK Unknown couple ahead at twelve
o'clock, engage or avoid?
FRAN Let's talk to them, they might be
cool. They meet, stopping on a verge by the side of the road.
CUTHBERT Hey there, could you tell us if
we're on the right road to Squaretown?
FRANK Yes, it's approximately seven point
two kilometres in that direction. Frank gestures behind himself. Fran eyes Tamsin up and down.
FRAN You're not from round here are you?
TAMSIN Well I was just going to say the
same thing to you!
CUTHBERT Fact is we're from Coolesville,
back that ways a while.
FRANK That's so cool, what's it like?
TAMSIN Oh, it's ok I guess, people are a
bit up themselves, bit too cool for their own good, if you know what I mean.
Fran and Frank look at each other.
FRAN Too cool you say, is that possible?
Cuthbert and Tamsin look at each other.
CUTHBERT How about Squaretown, is it er...
as industrious and efficient as we've been lead to believe? I mean are there many opportunities?
FRANK It is a hard working community and
people know their place, but it's just too, I don't know, square for us.
FRAN We're hoping Coolesville will be a
little more, more... modern, and er... hip.
TAMSIN Oh it's both of those alright. Do
you know a place we might find a room for the night?
FRANK You could try 'The Four Corners
CUTHBERT Thank you, strange travellers.
FRANK Thanks, listen we could chat all
day but we'd better make tracks, we have a schedule and itinerary to keep to.
TAMSIN Whatever, you folks enjoy
yourselves, that's the main thing.
FRAN Thank you, have a groovy time in
CUTHBERT Don't over-cook it in Coolesville.
When out of ear shot.
FRAN They were very cool people.
FRANK Yes, naturally, they were very
cool, that's certainly a valid statement.
A little later...
CUTHBERT Nice couple.
TAMSIN Yes, they were very... Different.
CUTHBERT Could do with a major makeover if
you know what I mean.
TAMSIN Who are we to say what's cool and
CUTHBERT Well I think we're in a very good
position to do exactly that.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC : "Incredible India"
Cuthbert and Tamsin soon come across Delbert and Herbie, who are sitting in the same place. They stop opposite him, he hears them coming and looks up.
TAMSIN Hello old blind man.
Cuthbert looks at her in disbelief. Delbert puts out his stick and taps their legs.
DELBERT Hello. There are two of you.
CUTHBERT Yes, hello, I am here too.
Cuthbert waves his hand.
DELBERT From where do you travel?
TAMSIN We come from Coolesville.
Tamsin points behind her. Herbie looks that way.
DELBERT What is your destination?
CUTHBERT We're going to Squaretown.
Cuthbert points ahead to Squaretown and Herbie looks that way.
DELBERT Squaretown is, special, it will
offer all that you desire, but beware for there will be those, more... unusual, squarer in some ways than yourselves, if you can imagine such a thing, they may resist accepting you, given any unconventional ways you may bring with you. You must keep your cool, be true to your style ethos, furthermore it will become your destiny to spread your cool to all those in need, in the place in which you have arrived.
TAMSIN Thank you for you wise words kind
DELBERT They are of little consequence. All
I ask in return for my words is whether you could see your way to donating some silver so that a poor man might buy himself a cool drink?
The dog licks his chops. Cuthbert puts his hand in his pocket giving money to Delbert who weighs it up.
DELBERT A little heavy for a note, a little
light for change. Man feels more of a man if he's got a cold beer.
Cuthbert gives Delbert some more money
DELBERT (CONT’D) Thank you. Now be on your way.
Delbert waves his white stick to urge them on and they leave. When they are a little way along...
TAMSIN He was a very kind wise old blind
CUTHBERT Yes, blind but very kind and wise.
Delbert puts the money in his pocket and talks to his dog.
DELBERT It's a sad fact of life that some
people can be just too cool for their own good, wouldn't you agree Herbie?
DELBERT (CONT'D) And in terms of moving from A to B
they say that the grass is always greener on the other side. What if you've already been to the other side and it really is Greener? What happens if you can only see Green? And most bizarrely what if you don't know what 'Green' really is in the first place?! I just like how it feels under my feet, so real and natural, don't you think?
Delbert wiggles his bare feet in the grass, next to his flip flops then ruffles Herbie's head, and looks around.
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE TRACK - DAY MUSIC : "Cocktails". Fran and Frank are walking along.
FRAN Do you think we'll need new clothes
when we get to Coolesville?
FRANK But these are new clothes.
FRAN No I mean a new style.
FRANK Tell me what you mean exactly by
this word 'style'?
FRAN Really, don't you know anything?
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY MUSIC : "56 Caddy". Cuthbert and Tamsin are walking along.
TAMSIN I hope everyone we meet in
Squaretown is as square as those suckers going to Coolesville. Easy pickings for us.
CUTHBERT I hope they're not too square. You
don't think we'll be, I don't know what the word is, over-dressed? We'll have to make an effort to blend in you know.
Cuthbert and Tamsin look down at their clothes.
TAMSIN We'll be fine. Most likely people
will probably want to become more like us.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY
MUSIC : "Cocktails". Fran and Frank have walk towards Coolesville. They stop to take a drink from a water bottle.
FRAN Do you think, we'll be cool enough
FRANK Certainly, however I believe that
we may have to begin a process of adaptation to our environment. A kind of reinvention if you like.
FRAN I might buy some new glasses. Or
get a tattoo. Frank looks shocked.
EXT. COUNTRY LANE - DAY
Delbert is preparing to leave his spot and talks to himself and to Herbie.
DELBERT What is it to be cool anyway?
Mmm... Maybe it's all about where you're coming from, or maybe more important, where you're going. It's all a matter of subjective perspective. I wonder with some folks whether they can actually SEE anything at all! You just need your heart to find the truth. I should know right? But then what am I? Just a poor, wise, mystic, guru blind dude in no man's land, neither square nor cool, with only my dog for company.
DELBERT (CONT'D) I've learned a few things from my
particular viewpoint in life though, cool or square, or somewhere in-between, things are rarely quite the way they seem.
MUSIC FADES UP : "70s Gospel"
Delbert stands up, turns his cap back to front, removes his sunglasses and puts them on his head. From the ice box he takes a bottle of lager, opens it with a whoosh using a bottle opener, winks at the camera and takes a drink.
DELBERT (CONT’D) Ahh, now that's cool...
He picks up a camera from behind the cool box, attaches it to the top of his 'white stick', takes a photograph of the film crew, who stay hidden and gives them the thumbs up. Picking up the cool box, he carries the camera on the monopod over his shoulder and walks, drinking from the bottle of lager.
DELBERT (CONT’D) Come on Herbie.
They walk in towards Squaretown, leaving a shot of the fields behind. Suddenly Herbie barks. They re-enter frame, walking back in the opposite direction towards Coolesville.
TIME-LAPSE CLOUDS RACE AS THE CREDITS SCROLL UP